Friday, June 29, 2012

Albion's Journal, 1st Entry

The Gathering and Duchy of St. Cuthbert are hold temporarily.  Fred (Barracus) approached me about running Pathfinder and John (Jacob the Rooster) will be gone for 6 weeks teaching a class, so it seemed like kismet.

The Cast:

Coal, 8th Level Human Sorcerer/Magus/Dragon Disciple .

Albion (me), 9th Level Human Bard.

The Dude, 8th Level Human Oracle.

The Red Wizard, 8th Level Human Illustionist.

8th Level Cat Folk Ranger.

8th Level Dragonborn Wyvaran Barbarian.

I'm ashamed to admit I don't remember Mick, Matt, or Rob's characters names.


I was summoned to some shrine, in the company of 5 strangers (one was a dragon and the other was a tiger man), I was in the middle of humming a tune, when all of my memories--including the song, were erased from my head.  I cannot help finding this very, very rude.

Losing your memories, I'm going to assume, isn't as traumatic as you might imagine, mainly because I really don't know what to miss.  I don't know if I'm an easy going person or it's just a benefit of not having anything to worry about.

I was about to ask the dragon man what his name was, when a Holy Knight or Paladin (as I later learned), began to speak to us of a plan by the Evil One (apparently he doesn't have a name, personally I think that would be more worrisome than not having memories) to merge the worlds of Golarion and Faerun and we were brought here to stop him.

Apparently, I'm from Golarion and also a good person, since I'm to oppose this "Evil One".  I'm sure the plan would have bothered me more if the the tiger man and the dragon man weren't so unusual to me.  The tiger man even had a pet tiger, which somehow struck me as racist.  If there are tiger men, why are theres still tigers?  And how do I still know what a tiger is?  Or a dragon?  Strangely, I still know my name is Albion, but I can't seem to remember my family name.  I wonder if that is the effect of the memory loss or poor relations with my family?

The Paladin said quite a bit, but I found him a tad dull.  I probably should've paid more attention to what he was saying, because he shot me with a halo that shoved his memories of me into my skull!  I'm sure he thought he was doing me a favor, but I ended up having HIS knowledge of who I was AND a headache, a giant one.

Apparently, I'm a Bard, which explains why I constantly want to sing and dance and I'm very old, which doesn't explain why I feel so spry.  He was really counting on me to fix whatever problem faced both worlds, but my headache was terrible and before I knew what was happening, I was sitting on a horse made of clouds and we were hurdling to an enemy stronghold.  Did I mention that the Paladin's memories are high contrast and the light is blinding to my mind's eye?  And every time I curse, mentally, his voice bleeps me?  Still.

I'm glad I'm a Paladin, it's very taxing.  I've decided to bleep his name from my memory and I strongly feel that will show him!

All I really remember of the trip was that I could've used some skullcap for my headache, I would've traded that cloudy steed the Red Wizard conjured, in fact all of those cloudy steeds, for any amount of the herb.

We...I should say they, began observing the guards outside the stronghold.  The guards were unusual to me and the Red Wizard explained they were Beareded Devils and Shadow Demons.  He was very emphatic that devils and demons shouldn't work together.  I was emphatic that devils and demons shouldn't walk our world.  He thought I was strange and I couldn't disagree with him.

As we talked, the Dude went to parley with the enemy.  He seemed to be doing alright, but I decided that I could do better, which meant I insulted the devils and tried to magically charm them, at the same time.  Don't EVER do this.  Pick one path, trust me, I'd advise the charm path as devils take offense easily and I am capable of being profoundly offensive.  Thankfully, the Red Wizard was able to break the illusion he divined was letting the devils work with the demons and the devils destroyed the demons, with one of their number falling in battle.

My comrades made short work of the 2 remaining devils while I sang.  It seems unfair doesn't it?  They swing weapons, charge about and cast spells, while I sing?  It's a living, I suppose.

I did take a moment to speak closely with Coal, a young man of tremendous power, who seemed slightly more confused than myself.  He's a good lad, and I hope he doesn't get himself killed.

While speaking to Coal, the Paladin alerted me to the fact that we needed to retrieve a spy, in his service, who had been captured.  I hope the Paladin, even a sliver, isn't living in my head.  I'm quite willing to lose my memory again to be rid of him.  I relayed this new goal to my band and had decided I was their leader.  I'm sure they would have been agreed, if I'd shared my decision with them.

The worst part of the stronghold was that there was no wine.  I was certain wine, in lieu of skullcap, would have helped my headache.  Oh well, being a leader meant sacrifice.

I was about to ask the Red Wizard to conjure me some wine, when my headache got worse as the dragon man began yelling, apparently his name, at a large door in front of us.  I know I should have caught his name, after all, I was his leader, but he was SO loud.

Someone inside the room began shouting at us about awakening him, so I began mocking him.  After all, what kind of villain complains about being awoken?  He retorted by throwing a fireball through the door and my rebuttal was to by stop, drop, and roll.

He introduced himself as the great wizard, Ruinous.  Ruinous?  Ruinous!  What kind of name was Ruinous?  I asked him if he came up with that name when he was 13 and told him that I believed he was hiding something.  I was certain his true name was Unicorn Breeder or Florist, he was quite stylish and fancy, after all.  I inquired whether his father had ever loved him?  It apparently struck a nerve, and he admitted his father was a florist and that he has sacrificed him to Asmodeus (I'm going to add that he did it because he couldn't win the man's approval).  That last bit was meant to frighten me, but it made me sad, or would have if he didn't make half of us begin to vomit uncontrollably.  The Red Wizard, whom I'd decided was my right hand man, used a spell called Phantasmal Killer, and would've succeeded, if Florist hadn't used a Ring of Wishes to save himself.

We explored the man's bedroom, and I found a book, written by his past self before he murdered his dad, that outlined how he would travel into the future and we would have to stop him.  This made my headache worse.  Coal found a lovely sash, Florist had hidden away and the dragon man punched a secret passage into the wall.

We ventured deep into the stronghold and came to an even larger set of double doors.  At this point I decided the Evil One had "little man syndrome".  We heard voices from behind the door and the dragon man once again began shouting and jumping up and down.  I decide he would make a wonderful guardian, once I began to train him, which meant I needed skullcap and treats to reward him when he learned the tricks I planned to teach him.

The door opened and a huge being that the Red Wizard later explained was half-fiend, half-dragon emerged and began talking to us.

This is where things got strange...yeah, I know.  Coal explained that my violet eyes turned an bright blue, at the same time my sword, yes my sword, began explaining to me that this creature was my brother, Mugen and that I must kill him for his past crimes.  Apparently, I tried to, and even injured him, but I cracked my sword.  He disappeared in a cloud of brimstone and 2 Death Knights of Asmodeus began attacking me.

I don't remember much of the fight, as I was either stunned by the force of their blows or vomiting and in a moment of true rapture, apparently in the throes of both.  I did however, enchant the dragon man several times to enhance his battle prowess.

We prevailed with the help of the spy we'd been asked to rescue, as he came from the other room to join the fray.

He introduced himself, but I was distracted when he flexed his muscles and caused his full plate armor to expand.  It made me feel ashamed and awkward and for once I was at a loss for words.  He explained that there was a dragon's horde inside the doors.  Everyone else was very excited, but I was perplexed why the wanted to fight an army of dragons.  The Red Wizard slowly explained it was a treasure, not an army.  I had chosen my right hand, very well.

Then Mugen reappeared.  I told him Mother never loved him and that he should flee before I murdered him.  I explained that Father wasn't even disappointed in him, because he had always been so useless.  He retorted with a Magic Missle to my head.  It was a strong retort and did nothing for my headache.

Then, we heard the roar of the dragon and Mugen sauntered off, knowing that the dragon had returned to his horde and I was going to be too busy to go after him.

I informed my band that this reminded me of every holiday at my family's home.  And we prepared for battle, which is to say, I began to sing...

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